Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
