If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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