he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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