If i come over, it means nothing
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
