"it" just moved
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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