i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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