champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
