If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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