I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
