not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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