I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
