I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
