That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
