i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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