I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
