i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
