Sponge bath it is.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
