people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
