if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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