So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
