Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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