I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
