Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
