playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
did i just pee glitter
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
