is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
