I wannas sexs uuuuu
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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