i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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