I wanna passion pit in your ass
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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