I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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