too bad you live with your parents still
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
