It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
sex in a hospital.. check
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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