You really coming over, don't trick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
