doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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