Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
