I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
