we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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