plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
sarcasm needs its own font
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize