He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
God, I missed his penis.
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