This is not my ceiling
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
