It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize