i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
