I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
