was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
