So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
