i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize