party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
