I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
