Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
