I think im going to throw up on grandma
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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