he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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