and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
