Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
