There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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