Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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