happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
